Excel Saga The Fanfic Experiment
by Jounouchi
Summary: What happens when fangirls get their grasp on an anime? Why yes, there is always that one token yaoi story. So, here it is...Excel Saga, the shonen-ai experiment.


"Heh heh heh…they all thought they would have a happy ending…" The author of this horrid fanfic to be, who was obviously in chibi form, sporting little horns and a tail, snuck inside a certain manga artist's apartment. Strapped around her little chibi waist happened to be some rope, a pad, pen, and fuzzy cuffs – oh boy, already this was going no where good.

It was a known fact that it wasn't a hard task to sneak into Rikdo Koshi's place, after all, if Excel could manage it, then any idiot could…even if that idiot happened to live across the seas away from Japan. And Rikdo was happily drawing manga, once again singing about how manga artists were the scum of the earth, but he was the one trying to drag out Excel Saga for _another_ set of graphic novels. But, another fact to point out was manga artists couldn't possibly be the scum of the earth when fanfic writers were obviously on a much lower level. They took pride in taking someone's precious work and slaughtering their characters to their own design. They changed endings, beginnings, and middles just to manipulate it to their own ends. Yes…fanfic writers were the lowest of low, because they didn't even get paid for their work. They simply took pride in destroying what little pride manga artists could take in their work to begin with.

The evil fanfic writer herself took the rope and created a lasso, launching it in Rikdo's direction, succeeding in tying him up. He was obviously taken by surprise as the little devil stepped on over, placing one hand on top of his head and the other at his chin to open his mouth for him. Then, she lowered her voice, and attempted to speak for the original manga artist.

"I, Rikdo Koshi, hereby give my permission to turn Excel Saga into a fanfic written by a yaoi-obsessed fangirl!"

"W-wait a second! I do not! Who are you?! What are you doing in my house?!"

She paused, tapping her chin, "Well, I thought I'd come in and screw you over the way the anime directors did…! I mean, at LEAST _I'm_ getting permission. Do you realize how many fanfic writers have not come all this way just to get your permission? Do you know how many illegal fanfics there are circulating around doing all sorts of horrible things to your characters…? Do you, _Rikdo__-san_…?"

"Well no…" He admitted. "I never stopped to think…"

"Then, don't stop to think now and just give me your little stamp of approval so I can go on my merry fanfic-writing way…!"

"Hold on! Just what are you planning on doing…?!"

Suddenly, for the sake of dramatic entrances, the door burst down with a swift kick behind the authoress and her hostage. Both whirled around rapidly, catching sight of the ever-so-cool arrival of who else? But, Nabeshin. He stood there with his tacky clothes and trademark afro, pointing a gun in the direction of the evil fanfic author.

"Only I am able to torture Rikdo Koshi and make him submit to my demands…! Besides, you need my approval too as the director of the anime, I will not stand by and allow you to manipulate my creations…!"

"Excuse me…" The manga artist began. "But, _I_ was the one to create Excel Saga."

"Shut up! You're opinions don't matter anymore…!" Nabeshin snapped, and then narrowed his eyes on the devil chibi. "And you…I will bring down as a sign to other fanfic authors not to mess with copyrighted material."

"Really now, Nabeshin…" She began, trailing forward. "If that were the case, then why would all those people out there be reading this at this particular moment…? It must have escaped into the ignorant masses' hands by some means or another. The power of a fanfic writer is far greater than any power a director or manga artist could have! They have even created webpages where we can post our horrible little drabbles so that so many can read. I can manipulate anything in this story. _I_ hold the power…! Oh ho ho ho!" Snapping her head back, she proceeded to laugh in that horribly annoying, high-pitched way.

The anime's director glared, "Kiisama!" He went to pull the trigger of his gun, only to hear a squeak. Glancing downward, he noticed that in his hand, he did not have the gun that had been placed there only for a means of drama…but now possessed a little, bone-shaped, squeak toy that was obviously for a dog. "Shit, you fanfic authors really are evil…!"

"You're only just figuring that out now?"

"Run, Nabeshin! Save yourself! Without your approval, she can't do what she wants to Excel Saga!" Rikdo called out desperately, struggling with his ties.

"It's already too late…!" The authoress grinned, a wicked gleam in her eye and one fang evilly poking over the corner of her lip. With a maniacal laugh, she snapped her fingers, and just like that the scenery began to change.

When it shifted back into focus, there was a rather large bed. Its sheets were silken, and a white flowing canopy draped around it. Then, there were two arms attached to one of the long bed posts that extended to the very top of the canopy itself. These arms belonged to the now shirtless Nabeshin and Rikdo who lay there attached with the fuzzy cuffs the authoress had brought with her originally ( I told you it wasn't a good thing ). Neither were pleased with their current position, and struggled endlessly…though couldn't fight the power of the cuffs because…well, they just couldn't. But, with both of them taken care of, the authoress took the center, bowing her head dramatically. A spotlight appeared out of no where, and she gazed off sparkly-eyed into the distance.

"After having so easily gained the permission of Rikdo Koshi _and_ Watanabe Shinichiro…I hereby give myself permission to turn Excel Saga into a yaoi fanfic…!"

"Oh god, no!" Rikdo protested.

Nabeshin's eyes widened, "_Anything_ but that!"

She stole the stamp from Rikdo's desk, and placed it of her own will onto the paper. "Muahaha, and also, by means of fanfic magic…I free Menchi from her torture." The little devil lifted the dog who was conveniently there, handing her the little dog toy that was once Nabeshin's gun, and walked away from the scene.

"Someone help!" Nabeshin cried out.

Rikdo was busy trying to draw away from the man, "Your afro is getting in my face!"

**Cue:** Ai ( Chuu Seishin )

**Author's Notes: **Please let it be known that I, in no way, have threatened the creators of Excel Saga and that I am a cruel person who will make you wait for the next installments of this horrid little two part saga. Oh, suggestions are highly accepted. And I do not own any of the characters from Excel Saga nor their creators…_yet._ ; Isn't that right, Menchi?  
  
Menchi: Wan wan!


End file.
